Just before Jaguar and Land Rover fell into Indian hands, no bad thing, Tata had been in the news for producing their Indian-built Nano which, at 1,300 became the world’s cheapest car. This was a story of international interest - grist to the mill that is the BBC’s excellent World Service, for whom I, erm, serve as motoring pundit de temps en temps.

"So when will we see the car in Europe?" Was the oft asked question at the time. As I said then and repeat now, "never". This may come as a huge disappointment to enthusiasts of the 2,000 government scrappage scheme, some of whom may have nursed a fantasy where they traded in their banger for a brand new Tata Nano and drove away with 700 quid in their back pocket.

Third world emission and safety laws are laissez-faire at the best of times. The Tata Nano’s tiny three-pot engine chucks out more disagreeable fumes than a coal-fired power station. Brakes are assisted, not by a servo, but a diary, so that the hapless driver of the diminutive and quirky looking four seater may make an appointment to bring the car to a full halt.

To bring the Nana up to Europe’s nanny safety standards required for mass production these days - SRS, ABS, N-CAP Crash tests et al - would raise the price to nearer the 6,000 mark. For that sort of dough you can buy a real Korean car.

This is not to be disparaging. We in Europe - and especially the UK - take a two or even a three car family almost for granted. In Indian, even a wonky little death trap like the Nano is aspirational to only the teeniest weeniest minority, where for many 1,300 represents a good few years’ salary.

I hope Tata’s warranty deals are up to scratch, however. Switch gear for indications, wipers and headlamps, mounted on the steering column, have been wired in poorly with short circuits causing a number of cars to catch fire. Owners in Ahmadabad, Lucknow (not so lucky now) and New

Deli have watched helplessly as their shiny new motors combusted.