This is a truly marvellous and very funny play written and directed by the inimitable Alan Ayckbourn, which opened at the Brits on Broadway Festival last December after its premiere in Scarborough. The play’s title is drawn from the essay that nine year old Winnie is given to write as homework and as she purports to feel ill, her heavily pregnant mother takes her along to her cleaning job at the very large and modern house of Mr and Mrs Tate. Told to behave herself and quietly get on with her essay, Winnie is the eyes and ears of a certainly less than wonderful day for the adults involved!

Winnie’s mother, Laverne, played with great warmth by Pertra Letang, dreams of going back to their original home of Martinique after her baby is born (the father of both Winnie and the soon to be named baby Jericho is absent without trace) and so deems Tuesday the day which they speak only in French in preparation for their trip. Winnie with wisdom beyond her years senses that this will be only a dream but gives the French her best shot leading most of the other adults involved to think she doesn’t speak English.

The play is beautifully crafted, sometimes with an element of farce, revolving around the selfish philanderer Kevin, his mistress Tiffany, his volatile wife, Paula, his rather suspect best friend Josh, and of course, Laverne. Winnie stoically continues the writing of her essay as events seesaw around her.

Kevin, played by Terence Booth with great irascibility is embroiled in an affair with his, dippy secretary, Tiffany (Ruth Gibson, very fetching in killer heels and a mini skirt), who calls at the house when his wife has gone missing, as it transpires later having discovered his indiscretions and got her own back in the most spectacular fashion. His rather creepy friend, Josh, also calls round and is drawn into the fiasco. Each of these characters tries manfully to deal with Winnie amidst the chaos ending eventually when Laverne’s baby decides to be born any minute and she is left in the care of the Kevin, Tiffany and Josh.

Paula, Kevin’s wife then appears, making events even more explosive and creating some of the best and funniest moments of the play. Alexandra Mathie plays her with resolute no nonsense force, dragging the rather reluctant Winne along in her wake. All the cast are excellent but it’s no doubt that Ayesha Antoine as Winnie steals the show and as a tribute to her acting abilities I had no idea until afterwards when I was thinking what a gifted little girl she must be, that I found out she was in fact 28 years old!

Jacquie Vowles